Emotional wounds we suffer as children have a direct impact on our psychology as adults. As a matter of fact, they affect our mental and physical health and ultimately our quality of life.
No matter how rosy or how terrifying your childhood was, the experiences you have as a child cause emotional scars. Even the most innocuous of comments can create wounds that develop into issues such as limiting beliefs, obsessive behaviours and fixed attitudes that do not serve as we get older.
What most people do not realise, or refuse to acknowledge, is that you don’t have to have suffered a trauma as a child to develop mental states that ultimately manifest as character traits and illnesses in adulthood.
For example, a parent may tell their offspring that “children should be seen and not heard.” Innocuous comments like this may appear harmless at the time but can manifest the idea in the mind of a child that they are not allowed to speak or make a noise. Parents have to be careful what they say to children and how they say it.
Once this idea takes hold, it can manifest as timidness. The more experiences a timid child has matured into a lack of confidence and self-belief as an adult. Many quiet children miss out on opportunities in later life because they were too scared to act. This is essentially the result of an emotional wound.
Yes, emotional stars are created that easily!
How do emotional wounds develop?
Under the age of seven years old, the mind is like a sponge. An immature mind does not have the capacity to analyse information or experiences. A child does not distinguish between what is true and false, right or wrong. The information we absorb is recorded by the subconscious’s mind and stored for later use.
As young children, we believe everything until we have an experience that counteracts the initial information. Thus we can update our subconscious programming. To evolve we should always be looking to update our subconscious programs. However, we don’t.
What happens is our subconscious mind creates a habitual mind – which is ultimately controlled by emotion. Emotions typically compel us to act and it is through our actions that we create the experiences we have in life.
When we continue to act on the whims of the habitual mind, we consistently channel the same energies. We, therefore, develop the same cycles of life – and if we are not happy with the experiences we have, we do not have a fulfilling life.
There is an old saying that goes: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you always get.”
Our thoughts, emotions and actions are energy. Energy transmutes and manifests as our reality. This is how we experience life. So if we keep thinking, feeling and acting the same way, we will continue to have the same experiences.
How the subconscious mind works
Let’s put this in a nutshell. The information we acquire throughout our life gets filed into the subconscious mind. Whenever we find ourselves in a situation where the information we have stored is required, the subconscious will present the brain with the file.
The brain then computes the information in the file and presents it to the conscious mind to makes a decision. This decision compels us to take action which results in another experience – further cementing the belief system that compelled us to take the action in the first place.
For many people, a lot of the information we acquire under the age of seven is self-limiting. Although it is possible to overcome self-limiting beliefs as we age, particularly during our teenage years, many of the programs linger deep in the subconscious.
These programs create emotional wounds and will continue to create emotional wounds until we wipe them clean and replace them with updated programs – akin to a software update on your smartphone or computer.
Until we update the programs we developed as children, we will continue to behave like children. These programs do not serve us as adults. How many times have you, and other adults you know, behaves like children when you don’t get what you want? How many arguments have you got involved in because you couldn’t take a criticism?
How to identify if emotional traumas are affecting you
Character weaknesses and irrational fears are common traits we develop as a result of emotional traumas. Our minds have a tendency to create stories that are not true. This is why scientists and some religions say the world is an illusion.
Emotional traumas cause us to experience “the world of Maya.” We perceive events based on the programs in our subconscious mind. This is why two people can share the same experience, but reach different conclusions or go through different emotions. It is our subconscious programming that makes us unique.
However, our subconscious programming can also make us act irrationally. It can promote fear when we don’t really have anything to fear. President D Roosevelt famously said: “There is nothing to fear except fear itself.”
If you experience any of the following mental states on a regular basis, you are suffering from emotional trauma:
- High-levels of stress
- Outbursts of anger
- Emotional detachment
- Unhealthy relationships
- Lack of confidence or self-belief
- Lack of concentration
- Feeling of rejection or abandonment
- Lack of self-worth
- Nightmares, flashbacks
This list is not exhaustive but is common problems. The good news is that irrational fears and weaknesses can be traced back to the experiences that caused them. Finding the root of the issue will enable you to heal emotional wounds and improve your quality of life.
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