We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ~ Will Durant, "The Story of Philosophy."
We all have habits. Some habits build us up, others tear us down. To enrich your quality of life, it's important to build good habits.
Whether it’s taking care of your body and mind or drinking too much to feel lit up, habits run deep. They’re the unconscious routines that shape your days — and ultimately, your destiny.
Habits are memories that are communicated in neural networks. Ingrained habits become a constant way of being — an automatic program drivne by an autopilot.
An autopilot is difficult to switch off.
The only way to switch of a bad autopilot, is to build good habits and train a better autopilot.
From a psychological point of view, habits are repeated actions triggered by cues in your environment or emotions (Robbins & Costa, 2017).
The tricky part is identifying emotional triggers, understanding why and healing the wound.
Building good habits is an act of discipline, patience, and persistence. Sometimes it takes courage. It requires activating the Caretaker archetype, the part of your personality that is responsible for taking care of your shit…
…because when you take care of things you need to take care of, you get from where you are to where you want to be.
Below is the advice given by several self-help speakers. Take from it what you will, but the advice you need right now depends on your personal situation and where you are on the path.
My advice is to take only one thing away from this article. Whatever resonates with you right now, is all you need to know right now.
Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People remains a cornerstone for anyone on a mission of self-mastery. Here’s how the Hero archetype might interpret them:
James Clear’s Atomic Habits takes the science of habit-building to the next level. Think of these as the Hero’s practical tools:
BJ Fogg (Tiny Habits) adds another gem: start ridiculously small.
Want to meditate?
Try one deep breath.
Want to move more?
Do one stretch.
Tiny acts repeatedly consistently are the training ground which lead to bigger and better wins.
Good habits fuel both mind and body — they strengthen your inner security, your confidence and your self-esteem.
Sometimes, the habit that needs changing is a shift is perspective and attitude. How you habitually respond to your spouse, for example, may be damaging your relationship.
Ask yourself, "what do I want?"
The answer gives to this questions should give you a goal to aim for. Because what do you need to do to get what you want.
Each of these builds the resilience and clarity that a Caretaker needs to help you stay on course.
Breaking bad habits requires an understanding of why learned behaviours were shaped in the first place.
Bad habits are coping mechanisms that no longer serve you. They may protect you, but they are not helping you to grow, and when you don’t grow, you become stagnant.
Most bad habits serve a hidden purpose: they soothe stress, fill emptiness, or help you avoid pain.
Coping mechanisms are designed to search for comfort, joy and pleasure.
When you honestly admit to yourself that a habit is a coping mechanism that helps you to relieve stress, the grip loosens.
To start, ask yourself:
You will find the answer to these questions in the archetypes tool. Archetypes are patterns of behaviour. When they are undeveloped, they serve to protect you from emotional disturbance.
However, the program designed to protect you may not be helping you grow and thrive. It's most likely to be helping you to survive.
Surviving is not thriving. Thriving is surviving.
The Essential Self Development Program identifies the emotional wound you are currently healing and offers solutions for you to develop emotional intelligence.
When you know which archetype is undeveloped and behind your bad habits, you can identify solutions that enable you to build good habits.
When you first begin to build good habits, you may think things have worked out. Until you're triggered again and revert back to an old program.
When you first start changing bad habits, you will probably set out with determination — provided you have these three factors:
You need to be aware that a habit is a coping mechanism and why you developed it. This helps you to identify your triggers and work with them whenever a trigger surfaces.
It helps to understand why the coping mechanism developed and why the habit you want to change is no longer beneficial. When you realise the damage a habit is causing, you are more motivated and willing to change it.
Solutions that work for you give you an alternative option to adopt. But let’s be realistic, you won’t get it right first time, and you will slip back into old programs. Have faith in the process and keep going.
It’s also important to realise, that you may change slightly at first and see signs of improvement. Your energy may change slightly and you will see this in your life experiences. But don’t be fooled…
…old habits have more energy and some of the energies they acquire are still automatic programs. Sometimes, the energies working against you are not in your conscious awareness yet.
What does that mean?
It means you fall off the proverbial wagon if you become too complacent and think you’ve overcome your habit.
It’s easy to slip back into old ways of being.
Also, avoid replacing one bad habit with another. Maladaptive behaviours cannot be fixed by adopting other maladaptive behaviours.
Sure, they may work at first, but then you just adopt another bad habit, which brings problems with it.
The solution you choose needs to have a positive outcome in the long term.
When you build good habits you build a good character. Good habits transform your life for the better.
Master Mind Content has developed a wellbeing program that shows you how to recognise why you behave how you behave and why you feel how you feel.
With these tools, you will be able to release repressed emotions and experience life in healthy, positive and constructive ways.
Sign up for our Essential Self-Development Program today and enrich your quality of life.
