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3 Keys That Unlock Happiness

By Richard J. Oldale,
September 23, 2024

Thought-Provoking Quote

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to "be happy.”

~ Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Happiness is an emotion that must be cultivated to be felt consistently.

While external circumstances can bring moments of joy and contentment, all too often these moments are fleeting.

Well-being studies indicate that happiness is more closely tied to internal processes than external events.

The middle ground is to feel content. Whilst this is a working memory that many of us can utilise, being content rather than happy can take longer to recover from setbacks.

According to Dr. Viktor Frankl, a psychologist and holocaust survivor, the three things that give meaning to life are to engage in creative work, love and to find purpose and meaning.

In this article, I examine these three keys more closely and discuss strategies for unlocking their powers to foster happiness.

happiness

Creative Work (doing something of value)

By ‘creative work’ Dr. Frankl meant doing a deed that offers value to yourself and others. There are various ways to engage in creative work.

The first is by way of a creative pursuit which stimulates both the mind and emotions in meaningful expression.

Writing, painting, music, or crafting can help you enter a state of "flow," which has been identified by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi as an increased feeling of joy and fulfilment whereby you lose track of time and focus on creating something of personal value.

You will notice this effect when you’re engaged in a conversation or activity that you deeply enjoy, those moments when the “time flies when you’re having fun”.

Moreover, creating something tangible or intangible augurs a sense of accomplishment which enhances self-esteem. It’s not just the end product that brings satisfaction, but the process itself helps foster a sense of pride and personal achievement.

Additionally, creative expression provides a way to process emotions, manage stress, and reflect on life experiences, contributing to emotional well-being.

creative works makes you happy

The other type of creative work is to contribute something meaningful to the world or your community. This covers a myriad of opportunities which can deepen your sense of purpose and connection to others.

This combination of personal fulfilment, emotional expression, and contributing value makes creative work a powerful tool for cultivating long-lasting happiness.

Operate From A Love-Based Centre

Some basic human needs are to feel loved, accepted and acknowledged by others. The needs are met through various degrees of relationships.

Human beings are inherently social creatures, and the quality of our relationships plays a critical role in our happiness.

Research consistently shows that people with strong social connections tend to be happier, healthier, and more resilient in the face of life’s challenges.

Harvard's long-running Grant Study revealed that close relationships are the most significant predictor of long-term happiness, even more than wealth or professional success.

Positive relationships provide emotional support, companionship, and a sense of belonging. When you feel connected to others, your brain releases oxytocin, often referred to as the "bonding hormone," which promotes feelings of trust and reduces stress.

Strong relationships also offer perspective during difficult times and amplify joyful moments.

As I show in the free mini-course 4 Steps To Find Purpose And Meaning: How To Find Happiness and Fulfilment in Your Life, it is the emotional rewards you get from relationships that contribute towards how happy you feel.

DOWNLOAD FREE SELF-DEVELOPMENT TOOL TO CULTIVATE PURPOSE AND MEANING IN YOUR LIFE HERE

Purpose & Meaning front coverAnd there are varying degrees of relationship that help to cultivate your sense of well-being.

They can be as small and fleeting as to a good deed for a stranger like helping someone struggling to load a heavy box into their car, speaking with the person next to you on public transport or sharing a joke with the postman or window cleaner.

Notice how you feel when you share small moments like these with strangers. It makes you feel good, doesn’t it? That’s because you’re contributing to creating a healthy, positive and constructive environment.

keys to happiness

You then, of course, have relationships with your work colleagues. These relationships are important because you spend so much time with these people.

So, to find happiness in the workplace, your basic needs have to be met; to feel a sense of belonging — do you fit in? — and to feel acknowledged, accepted and respected — are you doing a good job?

The final human need to cultivate happiness is love. Love, of course, comes from your family; partner, children, parents, siblings and wider family. If you have close friends, you will feel love for them as well.

In his book, Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl noted that:

Thought-Provoking Quote

“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true.”

~ Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

So, here we're seeing that love for another should include some elements of servitude which involves caring for another person and putting their emotional needs before your own.

This is only possible, however, if your emotional needs are being met. This is only possible when you receive love, acceptance and acknowledgement from others — which also means you must be capable of receiving love and compliments.

You may struggle with this if you have low self-esteem and feel unloveable. If you struggle to feel deserving of love, it can be difficult to fully accept it when it’s offered.

Practical Strategies for Receiving Love

  • Speak kindly to yourself, especially when you feel vulnerable or imperfect.
  • When you catch yourself thinking, “I don’t deserve this love,” challenge that belief. Ask yourself, “Why not?” Reflect on past experiences where you’ve been kind, loving, or supportive. Reframe your thoughts. For example, instead of “I don’t deserve love,” try saying, “I am worthy of love just as I am.
  • Acknowledge your worth by recognising your strengths and positive qualities.
  • When someone expresses love or affection, lean into the moment and absorb it. Allow yourself to feel the warmth or comfort they’re offering.
  • Treat yourself with the same respect you would offer to others and acknowledge the value you bring to the world.
  • Share your feelings or needs with people you trust. Gradually, you’ll feel more comfortable accepting care, affection, or support.
  • Accepting love means saying "yes" to support when you need it. Don’t feel as though you are burdening others who can offer you support.
  • When someone gives you a compliment, be humble and resist the urge to downplay or deflect your achievements. That is modesty and does not reflect your achievement. Moreover, it sends the wrong signal to your subconscious mind. Instead, simply say “Thank you, I appreciate that.” When you have time reflect on the reason someone offered you a compliment and let it sink in by recognising why you deserved praise.
  • Be proud of your achievements and the value you bring to the world. Low self-esteem often has shame at its roots which is born from a feeling of being judged, criticised and treated unfairly as a child.

You can access more self-development tips for managing and healing shame in this blog: Self-Development Tips: Healing and Dealing With Shame

Personal Growth (Finding Meaning in Life)

Research shows that the pursuit of meaning, rather than momentary pleasure, can lead to deeper and more sustained happiness.

Meaning and purpose provide a sense of direction and fulfilment, which can help you navigate life’s inevitable challenges with greater resilience.

According to Viktor Frankl humans have an intrinsic need to find meaning in life. This drive for purpose is what gives people the motivation to endure hardship, find joy in small victories, and continue growing even when faced with adversity.

Thought-Provoking Quote

“Even the helpless victim of a hopeless situation, facing a fate he cannot change, may rise above himself, may grow beyond himself, and by so doing change himself.”

~ Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Studies on meaning and happiness show that individuals who feel their lives have purpose report higher levels of life satisfaction, better health, and greater psychological well-being.

These studies don’t necessarily focus on people who pursue their life’s purpose as a career option.

Researchers found that it is your attitude towards life rather than your experience of life that determines how satisfied and happy you are.

When your actions align with a sense of meaning, you feel more connected to something larger than yourself, whether it’s through work, relationships, or personal values.

How to Find Meaning and Purpose

Know What You Want

Reflect on what matters most to you in every aspect of life and determine how you can create a healthy, positive and constructive environment. What outcomes do you want for the various scenarios you find yourself in

Decide what you want each day for your family and for yourself. Do you want to focus on being creative, do you have the time, energy and resources to help others, what do you need for your personal growth?

Understanding what you want can help guide your decisions and give your life a deeper sense of purpose.

Set Meaningful Goals

Aligning your actions with greater goals can give you a sense of direction daily. Whether it's advancing your career, cultivating a skill, or contributing to your community, recognising your actions each day contributing to the vision of your bigger picture helps to create a sense of progress and fulfilment.

Give Back

Helping others, whether through volunteer work or small acts of kindness, is a powerful way to create meaning and cultivate personal satisfaction. Research shows that contributing to the well-being of others is a booster for happiness and gives you a sense of purpose.

Embrace Challenges

Instead of avoiding difficulties, see them as opportunities for growth. There is no reason to fear failure when you adopt a growth mindset because you decide to learn from failure. And mistakes make you more resilient.

What’s more, overcoming challenges often leads to personal transformation which gives you a greater sense of purpose.

If you feel as though you need to find more purpose and meaning in your life, download this 100% FREE self-development tool — compliments of Master Mind Content.

Purpose & Meaning front cover

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Richard Oldale
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Master Mind Content is a leading authority in decoding ancient symbolism . Our research unveils the secrets to understanding and taking control of the the subconscious mind, channeling energy to self-heal and effectively using universal laws to fulfil your potential.

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